It has been exactly five months since I turned 27, and I still struggle to come to terms with an aging concept. I suppose when I was younger, the idea of being 25 and having it all always seemed realistic. Child’s mind of mine perceived world far more elementary than it is, well no doubt Sherlock! I watched Jenna Marbles and got inspired by her videos where she analyzed on her birthdays, lessons that she’d learned in her life. I thought it would be a great idea to reflect and share the things that I’ve learned.
Here we go!
- Stop Looking Into Someone Else’s Mouth:
A lot of people have things better than I, a lot of them possibly had it worse than I. What always made me upset and depressed, was looking at how good they are, and what they have. I think this was the major thing preventing me from growing in any plausible way and kept from focusing on my own possibilities.
2. Clean for 20 Minutes a Day, Never Leave Dishes in the Sink:
This one is a big one for me. With the hectic life of a Millenial, for me, it takes one day to make my house look like there are squatters there.
3. Come to Friend’s Houses Unannounced:
This is something that I miss from my days in Ukraine. We did not cellphones back then, kids would stand under the balcony and scream name of a friend to come out. The same way we would show up at someone’s house, and the parents always offered tea or something nice to much one. I hate coordinating with my friends for hours days and such, if they have time, then they have time, otherwise, the party keeps moving. This is where clean house comes in handy, in case people show up.
4. Always Have Tea, Coffee and Pastry To Go With It:
There is nothing more troubling than having people come over, and a host asking “Do you want water or something?” I can literally go into your bathroom and drink from a faucet, no questions needed. As a host also I realized one doesn’t have to ask “Do you want anything?” people get shy and don’t answer honestly. Eliminate any doubt, and say “Do you want Tea, Coffee or Peach Juice?” Done, if a person is still shy, I brew a small pot, put it on the table and set it. People come along when they comfortable.
Now if it is an evening party, there better be wine, beer, or and it is a good addition, lemon beer! These things don’t go bad fast and can be kept for a while until the opportunity comes. If your behind is really fancy learn to properly mix Gin and Tonic or Moscow Mule. Being a good host is very important, gives people a better opinion of you. It is also difficult to really hate people when you’ve broken bread with and had a drink with.
5. Get A Library Card:
In Germany, it is a little difficult with libraries when it comes to English books, but in New York the variety of books available was staggering. I remember going there like they gave out money. Reading is very important, just to screw with your brain, read from every section. Of course cater to your tastes, develop your talents, but at least try to expand your views. Through the years I found it so much better to be on the level with people, when one is dabbling in all things here and there.
6. Don’t Be Shy, Learn To Talk, Find Your Drinking Limit:
A lot of people tend to be closed in when they come to a party, where they do not know anybody except the host. Not me, I come up, tell them my name, get all the gist as to who they are, what they do, their hobbies, possibly where they are from and etc. This is how I find friends, get advice and have just a blasting time. People, those at the parties, want attention. That lonely person in a corner is making a statement “TALK TO ME”.
Now I have done my fair share of mistakes. I found out one can drink a lot, but take it slow. It will last longer. No matter what, you want to reach the tipsy, once you do, stop drinking. This is the fun you time, where people like and appreciate your company, it is a sweet balance before your turn into a monster. Once numbing or tingling feeling goes away, take a sip, one per like ten minutes. Maintain!
Talking is important. You don’t want to be an ass that sits there the whole evening prooving something. Talk about religion, politics, racism, don’t make it personal, do not get attached! Your opinion doesn’t matter more than another’s.
7. Be Humble, But Know Your Worth:
This is a big one, with which I still struggle. People do not like showoff’s unless they model and blah blah. Be as down to earth and simple as you can be. Yet, when it comes to promotions and money, state exactly what you want or need. Downplay this card, and the outcome will always be less.
8. Don’t Be Available, Helpful and Compassionate:
In this particular case, I found myself spreading thin to help people and dedicating time to someone who doesn’t care. I had friends whom I dressed because they didn’t have money, but they never helped themselves. Then people to whom I always offered help, but they never solve their problems. Of course, I don’t want anybody to kill themselves, but I cannot keep everybody from doing what they want. Just as I was depressed, there were people trying to keep me sane, but it always came down to me. So at the end of the day, be good, kind and nice, but also be selfish and focus on yourself. Not enough people love themselves like they love other people.
9. When Thinking About Suicide, Wait 3 days:
Lesson 9 is short. Ready to close the book? Wait 3 days, during those days, do everything to fix your problems, everything humanly possible. 3 Days was always enough to realize that “shit ain’t so bad”.
10. Don’t Be Looking For Your Second Half:
I think a while ago I saw Goldie talking to Barbara Streisand or Oprah, not looking for your other half is something that resonated deeply with me. What Goldie tried to explain, is that you cannot be with someone when you are not a complete person, it will be a toxic co-dependency.
My own experience showed that people admire developed and busy people. One must not expect a prince or a princess to fly into their life and fill it with love. There has to be love in one’s heart. Having a partner is not to find new hobbies, a partner is someone who should be viewed as a loved one and a companion on a journey, not a guide.
11. 3 Strikes And You Are Out:
This is quite a new rule of mine. I often gave people second and fiftieth chances. I was often used for money and favors. Which is purely my fault, because I’ve let people walk over me. 3 Strikes can be anything, from lying or being late. I know it sounds silly that being late is there, but I always get places at least 20 minutes early. This is quite annoying when somebody is an hour late, then text that they’ve just woken up, or that they had to do something and are on their way. I value myself and my time, if people do not value your time, then they do not value you.
12. Always Carry A Book Or An Ebook Reader:
I am famous for being patient and my ability to wait in lines. DMV ain’t got nothing on me, I can wait for hours. Secret? I keep reading, learning and relaxing. Never be agitated with employees because they are less likely to help you to their fullest ability. Instead get a fun book, and when your turn comes come up to the window with a smile and kind words. This will improve employees day and your own.